I think what we're trying to say is you are stronger than you think. Hardly anything works out the way we want it and adjustments have to be made. That is life. So get on with it.
+1
There is such a thing as tough love. Sometimes one who cares must deliver a message that isn't the softest or gentlest.
I think you'll find, once you're on your own, when you make the decisions about how your apartment looks, what food you'll eat, paying bills, I think it is possible for your confidence to grow.
Being in the dysfunctional family you're in, it is no wonder you have low self-esteem and confidence issues. Anyone would given your circumstances.
Now is the time for you to leave. Unfortunately life rarely presents us with situations in the way we would like them. Usually it's quite the opposite. This board is full of people who can share some very difficult circumstances.
Good luck.
"You feel unloved? Welcome to the world. Everyone is unloved. And incidently, I love you." - Sir John Gielgud Arthur (1981)
"You're born, you live and you die. There are no do-overs, no second chances to make things right if you frak 'em up the first time. Not in this life anyway. Like I said, you make your choices and you live with them. And in end you are those choices." -- Kendra Shaw Battlestar Galactica